Hey all! It has been awhile since I last wrote, and today I sit down with a heavy heart and two months of staring at a page not knowing what to write about my recent breakup that took place in my life. I am still confused and heartbroken to this day, but God graciously gave me the essence of peace throughout this journey.
For those of you who don’t know, I dated this amazing guy for three incredible years. Recently, he broke up with me out of the blue with no warning signs. We talked about marriage and our future together, so as most of you could understand, I was left with an overflowing amount of questions. For the first couple weeks I cried…ALOT. After those initial weeks, I was in denial for a week or so. Not really understanding or had the ability to grasp onto the idea of us being apart. Denial equalled shutting down my emotions and just going on with my life, which can look like I am doing all fine and dandy. This lead me to where I am now. I am fully feeling every emotion and have more questions than ever for God.
Two days after our break up, my church had a moment in the sermon where anyone could walk up to the front and have someone pray over them. I chose to do so and from that moment forward I’ve been overfilled with peace. I still feel all the hurt, anger, pain, and confusion with the peace of God. But by giving my breakup to the hands of God, this part of my life is teaching me new things everyday. About myself, about how I maybe could have done better in our relationship, how I do not regret a single moment with him, how to insert God in our relationship more, how our love wasn’t fake, but how incredibly real it was and that love like that exist in this world.
I am writing this not only to help me express how I’ve been feeling over the past couple months, but to help you find a reason behind the heartbreak you might be feeling. God is on your side. He is watching over you every step of the way even if it may not feel like it. Even with His peace, I still felt hurt and anger. That is natural. Let your heart feel those things. But also, be willing to listen to what God has to say about you and your situation. Listen to the truths God preaches over you. Every single one of them is so so true and important that you grasp onto his truth about you. You are brave. You are confident. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are meant for a purpose. You have a gift. I could go on and on, but beautiful soul, please look up in this time of hurt and lean on the one who cast all fears, worry, doubt, anger, and confusion away.
Sprinkle of Jesus recently sent out a notification saying “God will never let what you’ve lost, be the best you’ve ever had.” In my situation this speaks to me as God saying I have something so much better for you. Whether that be us getting back together in a relationship that’s grown us apart to grow us together or for something or someone else down the road. Whatever it is, give it up to God and let your heart rest.
I am praying for you whatever it may be.